Yes on Prop. 8

I originally posted this somewhere else, but figured I would put it on here so I would have a copy of it. I received a message today from a gay friend of mine that sent me over the top. He is supporting a "crashing" of sorts of a Yes on 8 rally in a few days. They are going to show up at this church and are intending to create a scene and try to get the media to interview them and take the spotlight away from the "Yes on 8" campaign bus tour...To me this proposition has turned more into a battle for freedom of speech than anything else, so, here was my post...


OK, over the last few weeks I have seen SO many bulletins on here for both sides of Prop 8. While I have known all along what I was going to vote, I have to say that it has been interesting to read what everyone has to say. Something that I have noticed though through reading articles and blogs and just seeing people out on the streets (both for and against the proposition) is that there is such a difference in attitude.

The other day there were groups of people on the 4 corners of an intersection here in Rancho waving "Yes on 8 signs"...and I noticed about 3 teenagers standing directly in front of one of the groups holding "No on 8 signs." What really caught my attention wasn't that these 3 teenagers were protesting, but that all the people holding yes signs weren't bothering them. They just let them stand there and exercise their freedom of speech, just as the rest of the group was doing. No one was yelling at them, or telling them to leave.

I have also noticed that most of the vandalism seems to be coming from the No side....While I'm sure there are some yes supporters doing the same thing, the majority of it seems to be on the other side. My father-in-law has replaced MULTIPLE signs in a spot where every night they get taken down, and every morning he just replaces them and adds one more. On the other hand, on an intersection near us, there is a No on 8 sign that has been there for a few days now...and that's even an intersection where there have been multiple "rallies" to wave yes signs...no one has vandalized or removed the sign.....

I guess what I am confused about is if this propostion is supposed to be about our freedoms, and about tolerance and making everyone equal...then shouldn't EVERYONE be allowed to voice their opinion, regardless of which side they are on?

I don't want to offend anyone, and this is why I have just kept my comments to myself for so long because I have lots of great friends that this proposition directly affects. But what about everyone else's rights? I have to say that if I was undecided about the whole thing and had to make up my mind, just the attitudes of the 2 sides would have made my decision for me.
What really chaps me though is constantly being bombarded with media telling me that I am "anti-gay" or "homophobic" for what I believe in....how dare somone tell me that!! Some of my BEST friends are gay, and my opinion of them has NEVER changed!! Even after them coming out to me, all of them can attest that my attitude towards them never changed...I don't care if you're gay, what matters to me is that they are happy and healthy, just like any other friend.

And please don't message me back telling me that my views are wrong and that I am being deceived or brainwashed, or that I don't know what I'm talking about. My decision was based solely on the fact that I am a married woman who is a mother. While I know society is sending the tradition of marriage into a downward spiral, I personally chose to uphold that tradition. Marriage has been a ritual to create families and allow the replenishing of our societies...and that is what I am doing. I am a WIFE, I got married and made that commitment to my husband to raise a family with him by my side. I take that promise very seriously. Most of us voting yes on prop 8 are doing so strictly because we took the tradition of marriage seriously...when we wore white, we had earned it!! And we got married for the reason it was intended, to create a family unit that can create and raise children for generations to come. We didn't get married just to say we were, we didn't get married just so we could be on one another's health insurance, we didn't get married just so we could fool around and not feel guilty about it, and we certainly didn't get married just so we could be like everyone else. I understand that the no side wants equality and tolerance, but what about tolerance for our established traditions?

That's it, I'm done....I have held all that in long enough. I just take my marriage very seriously and it hurts me to have people degrading my commitment down to "well, anyone should be able to do it."

I'm sorry to offend, but this proposition has forced me to make a choice, my friends' feelings or the sanctity and solemness of my marriage...and my husband and children are my first and foremost priority...I am making a stand for them, and for my children's future. I want my children to be able to get married and have it still mean something special when they are ready.

Pee-Pee in the Potty!!!

Today we had a BIG GIRL moment....

We have been trying to get Karyl to go to the bathroom in her little toilet, and every time she sits on it we tell her that if she goes pee-pee or poo-poo in the toilet, we will take her to Disneyland. Well, up until now she would just sit on there for about 10 minutes, make me read her a book and then we'd put her diaper on and move on with our day....but not today!!

I was changing her diaper, and as I was about to put the new one on, she asked to go sit on her potty because she wanted to go pee-pee in it. So, we headed to the little toilet...as usual, I gave her the much repeated speech "alright, if you can put the pee-pee in the toilet, we'll go to Disneyland" and just figured we'd sit for a few minutes, read the book and then head back to what we were doing. As she sat down and got her book on her lap, ready to read, I told her I would be right back, I was going to go get a stool to sit on. As I came back around the corner, I heard a sound I hadn't heard before coming from that little toilet...she was tinkling!!!!! She got this proud look on her face and I clapped and we high fived and the first words out of her mouth were:

"I need to get my Minnie Dress on and go to Disneyland!!"

Which leads me to the other half of our post and the cute pictures below....

To Disneyland we headed...and of course, this had to be the hot day of the week that she decides to show off her bladder retaining skills, but nevertheless, we packed up, put our Minnie Dress on and headed to Disneyland. We even were able to meet Steve, Ryan and Tyler there so we had people to talk to!!

So, we rode on Flick's ride in Bug's Land and Karyl checked out the water play area....at first she was a little freaked out, but after a few minutes she was giggling every time someone splashed some water in her direction. And of course, we rode the Merry-Go-Round. All in all it was a fun (and thankfully short) trip to Disneyland and if Karyl catches on to this "pee-pee in the potty" idea as quickly as she does to everything else we may be spending a lot more time there...at least the weather is getting cooler, right?!?!

Here's Karyl at the water play area....she was getting so excited about seeing all the water fly everywhere!!

And of course, the princess had to ride on the Merry-Go-Round....that dress just makes her look so big!!

Official Happy Birthday

OK, so just for future reference I had to make sure and put a post up on Karyl's real birthday so no one thinks we overlooked the real date...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARYL!!!

We love you!!

Happy 2nd Birthday!!!!

So, technically, tomorrow (the 20th) is Karyl's birthday, but we decided to have our "party" on the weekend so no one had to worry about coming home early from work.

Of course this was a Dora themed "fiesta" and we had a great time!! We had our families there, and we even had some extended family from L.A. come down for the party! We had fancy mac & cheese for dinner and lots of other extras like the famous 7-layer salad and jello salad!!

After dinner we went out in the backyard and played ring around the rosie and London Bridge is falling down...and we have to thank everyone for being such good sports and going along with it!! Karyl also played a little duck-duck-goose, but always ran the opposite way when she was picked...we'll work on that!!

Karyl got lots of fun presents, and we can't thank everyone enough for their gifts!! We are so excited to get settled in the new home so she finally has somewhere to really play wtih all her fun toys!! Below is a picture of her in a pair of her new princess shoes, they are a little big, but she seemed to still look like a princess walking in them!!

After opening presents, we had some yummy cake!! If you ever need a great cake for a good price, Albertsons is the way to go. Someone recommended their wedding cakes, and we got our wedding cake from them...it was delicious!!! And ask for the buttercream frosting, none of this wimpy whipped stuff!! This was a great chocolate cake with plenty of thick frosting and a cute little Dora toy on top that danced with a magnetic wand...of course, it didn't work while on the cake and I spent a little too long trying to figure out why (Ugh, pregnancy brain)...but once it was off the secret was revealed and the case closed!!

So, the birthday was lots of fun, and we even had a little preview of the 2-year-old attitude while we were together!! So much to look forward to!! Also, if you ask Karyl how old she is, she knows!! She will very carefully put up her 2 fingers and say "two!!!"

Can you believe it has been 2 years?? We sure can't....and now we're getting ready to start all over again with another one....what are we getting ourselves into?!?!

Trunk or Treat

So every year for Halloween at our church they have "Trunk or Treat" where we meet in the parking lot and trick or treat out of our trunks. It's great because it's a lot safer than kids running through the neighborhoods, and you can let your kids run free a little since everything is in such close proximity.

So, this year Karyl really got into the spirit and understood what was going on. She would go up to the cars and say Trick or Treat (even though she was slightly hidden sometimes because of the big kids....) and she even said thank you after each candy donation. She had lots of fun, and mommy and daddy got lots of good candy!! Here is a picture of her in her Minnie costume, and Greg and Sis. Chase giggling about Greg's naughtiness (I can't say what he was doing, but let's just say he was getting back at all the big kids that abused the trunk or treat situation and ran around to all the cars multiple times and tried to get more candy than they deserved!!)

Happy early Halloween!!

OUR NEW HOUSE!!!!!!!!!

YES!!!! This is our surprise...we wanted to wait until we opened escrow and told our landlord here before we made the news public, but Greg and I have decided that October and November aren't busy enough already so we added buying a home to our Holiday list for this year!!

We are super excited and can't wait to move in. For those of you scratching your head saying "we didn't even know you were looking for a house" we're sorry to surprise you. We have been kind of casually looking for the past few months, but were looking for foreclosed homes originally with the intent to buy one and spend a few months fixing it up, BUT, last Saturday we were out with our agent and we happened to drive by this open house and Greg saw the sign and suggested we go check it out. When we went to check it out we really were just doing it to see what the homes in the neighborhood looked like when they weren't covered in cobwebs and damaged...but we ended up in awe of the house. The wonderful guy that owns it has remodeled the entire inside and it looks beautiful!! He has been trying to sell it for a year and apparently has been waiting to move out of state with his family until it sold.

So, we really liked it and decided to take a chance and make an offer. Long story short we got an amazing deal and will be moving in on November 15th. Now, that is a Saturday...and I'll mention now that we are going to need some help moving since I have been banned from lifting anything that isn't what Greg deems "fluffy," so if any of you would like to help us pack up the truck on this end we would greatly appreciate it!!

Oh, and no, it's NOT in Orange County....We have decided to "relocate" to Corona...but don't worry, we are only a few short miles from where the 241 hits the 91 freeway...so we're only about 30-45 minutes from Rancho depending on the traffic. Heck, I used to drive further to get to work when I worked in Riverside!!

YAY for us!! We'll keep you posted and put more pictures on as we get them. If you're interested I can give you the link to the listing on the internet for the house that has more pictures =) I just didn't want to post it on here since it has the address on it and our blog is public!!

Happy Anniversary!!

Well, it's been 3 amazing and wonderful years for Greg and I!!! Can you believe how fast time flies?? If anyone had told us that before our third anniversary we'd be where we are today we both would have laughed!! Who would have ever believed we would be in such a wonderful marriage with one beautiful daughter and a boy on the way!!

Yesterday (the 15th) was our official anniversary, but because Greg had to work we decided to "postpone" it for a day. So, tonight we had Greg's parents watch Karyl and we had a nice night out. We went to dinner at the Fisherman on the San Clemente Pier since they have Greg's favorite Chicken Alfredo! It was so nice to go to dinner and not have to worry about crayons falling off the table and feeding a child. Don't get me wrong, Karyl is by far one of the best behaved toddlers EVER, but it was nice to be able to just sit and talk and enjoy the sunset and the ocean together, quietly =)

Greg also brought me home flowers....aren't they beautiful!! I love pink roses!!

We also had another little surprise for our anniversary but I will put that in another post tomorrow since we have to wait to announce it until then!!! You will want to check back for this one...it's a good one!!

Until our next anniversary....

Yes on Prop.8 - Protect Our Families

I have to thank Lacey for posting this on her blog, I too have wanted to say something about Prop. 8 but was unsure of hwo to word my feelings since I have many friends who are homosexual and don't want to offend anyone. This article from the LA Times is so beautifully worded and definitely says what I feel in my heart.

Please don't take offense, but this explains why so many of us who have brought children into this world are so emotionally involved in making Prop. 8 pass.

By David Blankenhorn September 19, 2008

I'm a liberal Democrat. And I do not favor same-sex marriage. Do those positions sound contradictory? To me, they fit together.

Many seem to believe that marriage is simply a private love relationship between two people. They accept this view, in part, because Americans have increasingly emphasized and come to value the intimate, emotional side of marriage, and in part because almost all opinion leaders today, from journalists to judges, strongly embrace this position. That's certainly the idea that underpinned the California Supreme Court's legalization of same-sex marriage.

But I spent a year studying the history and anthropology of marriage, and I've come to a different conclusion.

Marriage as a human institution is constantly evolving, and many of its features vary across groups and cultures. But there is one constant. In all societies, marriage shapes the rights and obligations of parenthood. Among us humans, the scholars report, marriage is not primarily a license to have sex. Nor is it primarily a license to receive benefits or social recognition. It is primarily a license to have children.

In this sense, marriage is a gift that society bestows on its next generation. Marriage (and only marriage) unites the three core dimensions of parenthood -- biological, social and legal -- into one pro-child form: the married couple. Marriage says to a child: The man and the woman whose sexual union made you will also be there to love and raise you. Marriage says to society as a whole: For every child born, there is a recognized mother and a father, accountable to the child and to each other.

These days, because of the gay marriage debate, one can be sent to bed without supper for saying such things. But until very recently, almost no one denied this core fact about marriage. Summing up the cross-cultural evidence, the anthropologist Helen Fisher in 1992 put it simply: "People wed primarily to reproduce." The philosopher and Nobel laureate Bertrand Russell, certainly no friend of conventional sexual morality, was only repeating the obvious a few decades earlier when he concluded that "it is through children alone that sexual relations become important to society, and worthy to be taken cognizance of by a legal institution."

Marriage is society's most pro-child institution. In 2002 -- just moments before it became highly unfashionable to say so -- a team of researchers from Child Trends, a nonpartisan research center, reported that "family structure clearly matters for children, and the family structure that helps children the most is a family headed by two biological parents in a low-conflict marriage."

All our scholarly instruments seem to agree: For healthy development, what a child needs more than anything else is the mother and father who together made the child, who love the child and love each other.

For these reasons, children have the right, insofar as society can make it possible, to know and to be cared for by the two parents who brought them into this world. The foundational human rights document in the world today regarding children, the 1989 U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child, specifically guarantees children this right. The last time I checked, liberals like me were supposed to be in favor of internationally recognized human rights, particularly concerning children, who are typically society's most voiceless and vulnerable group. Or have I now said something I shouldn't?

Every child being raised by gay or lesbian couples will be denied his birthright to both parents who made him. Every single one. Moreover, losing that right will not be a consequence of something that at least most of us view as tragic, such as a marriage that didn't last, or an unexpected pregnancy where the father-to-be has no intention of sticking around. On the contrary, in the case of same-sex marriage and the children of those unions, it will be explained to everyone, including the children, that something wonderful has happened!

For me, what we are encouraged or permitted to say, or not say, to one another about what our society owes its children is crucially important in the debate over initiatives like California's Proposition 8, which would reinstate marriage's customary man-woman form. Do you think that every child deserves his mother and father, with adoption available for those children whose natural parents cannot care for them? Do you suspect that fathers and mothers are different from one another? Do you imagine that biological ties matter to children? How many parents per child is best? Do you think that "two" is a better answer than one, three, four or whatever? If you do, be careful. In making the case for same-sex marriage, more than a few grown-ups will be quite willing to question your integrity and goodwill. Children, of course, are rarely consulted.

The liberal philosopher Isaiah Berlin famously argued that, in many cases, the real conflict we face is not good versus bad but good versus good. Reducing homophobia is good. Protecting the birthright of the child is good. How should we reason together as a society when these two good things conflict?

Here is my reasoning. I reject homophobia and believe in the equal dignity of gay and lesbian love. Because I also believe with all my heart in the right of the child to the mother and father who made her, I believe that we as a society should seek to maintain and to strengthen the only human institution -- marriage -- that is specifically intended to safeguard that right and make it real for our children.Legalized same-sex marriage almost certainly benefits those same-sex couples who choose to marry, as well as the children being raised in those homes. But changing the meaning of marriage to accommodate homosexual orientation further and perhaps definitively undermines for all of us the very thing -- the gift, the birthright -- that is marriage's most distinctive contribution to human society. That's a change that, in the final analysis, I cannot support.

David Blankenhorn is president of the New York-based Institute for American Values and the author of "The Future of Marriage."You can also read this article at:http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/sunday/commentary/la-oe-blankenhorn19-2008sep19,0,2112209.story

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!

Well it appears that either most of you guessed correctly OR some people that knew already tainted the voting =)

Either way, the poll is right on!! We are in fact having a bouncing baby BOY!! We found out last Wednesday and we were (and still are) super excited!!

So, while we now can't use most of the clothing we already have, we now will finally have some more testosterone running in our house to balance out the sea of estrogen we have right now!! We are really excited to have a little boy in the house, and Karyl is even excited about having a baby brother. In fact, she even tells people she's having a baby brother if you ask =) She's been practicing changing diapers on her Minnie doll to prepare for his coming.

Thanks to all of you who voted and got involved in the excitement!! We will keep you updated as things progress and will let you know in a few weeks when we make the final appointment for the delivery date (he will be another planned c-section) so everyone knows that delivery date!!

Have a great Sunday everyone!

We're like a vault baby, LOCKED DOWN!!

Well, I have shortened the voting time on the poll so the last day to vote is Sunday night at midnight. We have had quite a few people try to get the final answer out of us but we're keeping tight lipped (for the most part). I think everyone that works for FedEx in Southern Orange County knows what we're having, but as far as I know none of them read our blog yet so that hasn't tainted the poll yet!! So far it looks like the boy votes are slightly in the lead, but the girl votes were ahead earlier. We'll see what happens in the next day!! It's too bad that with the polls you can't see who votes...We'd love to see who is voting for a boy and who is voting for a girl!

So, enter your vote if you haven't voted yet and we'll reveal the answer either late Sunday night or first thing Monday morning. We KNOW you'll all be surprised!!

In other news...Kind of a side note, I was sick the other day with a low-grade fever and a headache (it was a really random thing that lasted for like a day) and then yesterday Karyl was a little sick with a fever...I hate to admit it, but I love it when she has a fever because all day it's "momma, sit on your lap" and "hold you"...she is the snuggliest toddler when she's under the weather!! Granted, that's not very fun when you're trying to go to bed and she won't sleep alone, but last night she went to bed rather well and we all got decent sleep! Today she is better...no fever today but I think she still might be a little yucky in the tummy. She said she didn't feel good this morning, but I think she's learning that if she says that it means mom will baby her all day...so I'm watching this play out today =) So far she's been fine!

Yumminess!!

OK, so last night we went out to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. Greg has been raving about this restaurant for as long as we've been married (and longer I'm sure) but I had never heard of it and he took us and his parents there last night.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this restaurant, it's a fancy-schmancy "Would you like some sparkling Pelligrino water" place...but being that this one is in Southern California it was a little bit more relaxed.

Anyway, our meal was AMAZING!! I had a filet mignon that practically melted in my mouth and some baked potato that tasted like, well, a baked potato...but it was loaded, and it was YUMMY!! One down side, the place isn't terribly condusive to toddlers...they bring your plates out at 500 degrees, yes, that's right...don't even brush up against your plate or you will leave with an injury! But it keeps the meat so much more tender for so much longer!! They also didn't really have anything for kids to eat....Karyl had to kind of take from all the side dishes (there was a yummy broccoli au gratin that she fancied) and the bread they bring to your table is delicious...so that was her meal, mostly bread and then the veggies and baked potato...although Grandpa may have slipped her a small piece of his filet, I'm not sure =)

At any rate...if you're looking for a serious meat restaurant, at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse you'll get exactly what you pay for!! Definitely well worth the money...just don't bring your toddlers, this is not meant for your young kids, although I was impressed that they had a diaper changing station in the restroom....you wouldn't believe how many normal places don't have those!!

Oh, and by the way, if you've gotten all the way down here to the bottom of this entry and are still reading I have a little treat for you...we found out yesterday what we're having =) We waited for 2 hours in my Dr.'s office and she was called away to a birth, so as consolation, before we were rescheduled and sent on our way after that long wait we asked if we could sneak in to see the ultrasound tech and find out the sex of the baby...and they did it for us. So, cast your vote and sometime next week we will announce it on here...we're still curious to see what the votes end up at =)

Sorry for the tease, but I have to keep you coming back, right?!?!

WE NEED YOUR OPINION!!!

OK, so the time is fast approaching and we will be finding out what the sex of the baby is (we aren't telling what day we're finding out...we want it to be a surprise for everyone!!) so we want to know what everyone thinks...

In the upper right hand corner of the blog is a poll as to boy or girl...please, leave your vote and we'll see what the verdict is =) We may extend the voting if we don't find out before next week!!

Here are a few details that apparently, according to old wive's tales, are supposed to indicate the sex of the baby...
* I was only sick for a few weeks, and it wasn't nearly as bad as the first pregnancy (which was a girl).
* I am not showing nearly as fast as I was with Karyl.
* I can already feel the little guy moving around in there, and he or she is VERY active!
* Even at 14 weeks the baby had a fast and strong heartbeat.

We can't wait to hear what everyone thinks!!

Little feet

Well, I've reached a new point (and my favorite point except the actual birth) of the pregnancy...I can officially feel FOR SURE that there is a little guy or gal in there!! I felt the baby for the first time moving the first night we were on the houseboat, but it has only been sporadic since then. Now, for the past 3 days it has been pretty consistent!! Unfortunately, this is the part that dads have the hardest part with since us ladies can feel the little one moving and kicking, but daddy has to be content for some weeks now until the baby is big enough to be felt moving from the outside.

So, I thought I'd just share that with everyone since it makes me smile and I love feeling the little wiggles inside!! Until the next entry...

Bye-Bye old home....

As most know, we have been trying to sell my mom's townhome for the past few months, and as of 5 o'clock this afternoon, it is no longer ours. When my dad passed away he left it to my brother and I and my mom decided a few months ago that it was too big for her to maintain and that she didn't need all that room.

So, it has been sold and last night we took Greg's parents through so they could see Greg's handywork with the remodeling (that was a project all in its own right) and it kind of caught me off guard seeing the place emptied out. We have owned that place for a little over 10 years and I lived there longer than anywhere else we had lived. My dad bought the place the summer before my Junior Year of High School and I lived there until I got married about 3 years ago. It was so weird to see all the furniture gone and nothing around but a few curtains and the appliances.

So, good luck to my mom and brother in their new apartment. They are excited to get started in a new place and to be back in the Santa Margarita Ward (that was our first ward in this area) and I'm excited for them...heck, my brother even said that he might go to church once or twice (note, I'm not holding my breath on that one, but it's nice to think about)!!

So, today begins a new chapter in the Merchant Family...my dad's memory isn't linked to anything anymore (the house was the last thing to get rid of) and my mom and brother get to start again in a new place of their own. I know Spring is usually the time for new beginnings, but our family has a habit of doing things differently, so as far as I'm concerned, Fall is now a time for new beginnings and adventures for the family and we all look forward to seeing what happens next!!

Oh Dora....

OK, so as most of you know Karyl is slightly infatuated with Dora and Diego and has started repeating phrases and little songs from the shows. Her newest thing that she has been doing for over a month now is that when we go to change her diaper on our bed, she always has to run to the opposite side and duck so she can "hide from the coyote." In Diego some of the animals he saves are afraid of coyotes, so they have to hide when the coyotes come around...and now Karyl thinks she needs to hide from them.

It's funny because it's not out of fear that she's hiding, she knows that there are no coyotes here and that they aren't "scary" but she still wants to hide every time!! So...sometimes now when she's reluctant to come change a diaper all I have to do is say "well, let's go hide from the coyote and then we can change your diaper" and she's up and running....hey, it works!!

Another cute thing she picked up from our vacation that has been slightly entertaining is stinky skunks. We were driving through a highway somewhere and someone before us had nailed a skunk, and it STUNK!! So as we were driving someone innocently said "Ewww, that skunk smells." So, now if you ask Karyl if she smells a skunk she'll pretend to smell the air and say "I smell a 'kunk'" and it cracks us up....

Now, to take that even a step further, somewhere along the trip she had a poopy diaper and someone, trying to be funny said "Eww, I think I smell a skunk...in Karyl's diaper" and so now she's picked up that when she has a pooper we can ask her where the skunk is and she says the "kunk" is in her diaper.

Out of the mouths of babes =)